Endings and Beginnings

On May 21st I am closing my Etsy shop.  Yep.  Not even a year in and I'm going to shut'er down. 

But why would I do such a thing??

Because I have been offered a great opportunity with the Americorps VISTA program and on May 21st I will start my training.  That means that by May 21st I can have no other source of income other my my living allowance provided by VISTA. 

But there is plenty of good news as well!

First, the good news is that by closing my shop and dedicating the next year to VISTA I will receive an incredible experience with the Yoknapatawpha Arts Council, health care, a living allowance and help with my student loans- all very cool and exciting things.

Second, the good news for my fans is that today- at my Double Decker Demo- I will be giving away free coupon codes for 35-50% off ANY ITEM in the shop AND free shipping!!

WHAT?! 

Yep.  I hate to think of all of these dresses just sitting, waiting to find forever homes, so I'm going to be coupon coding like crazy!  But the only time to come get one is today from 12-4 at Amelia's/The Lyric in Oxford.  Stop by, catch some demo action and say hi.  It's going to be a good time, and a very exciting new chapter.  Hope to see you there!

One Payment Down

Well the first month of our "Oh My Heavens We Are Going To Get Out of Student Loan Debt If It Kills Us Both" is officially over.  And I am so so so proud and excited to say that we have accomplished our first goal.

This month we put a total of $1,347.16 towards our debt- that officially puts us at our new debt total of $8,372.31 .  Y'all, I am not going to say it was easy.  Seeing that much money move out of the bank account and into the great abyss that is my student loan debt was pretty horrifying.  But we are only one month in and that means plenty of practice while we keep chugging along these next 8 months.  I am already 1/3 of the way to our next months goal and we still have 26 more days to go!  So let's talk a little bit about how things are going shall we?

I gotta be honest, I really think things are going really, really well.

My super strict grocery budget has made for some last minute Pinterest menus lately (What does one DO with 4 eggs, a little broccoli and 3 lbs of asparagus we forgot to broil for Easter??)  but I am still right on target and saving big bucks.  Going veg 4 nights a week has developed into 5 and that is saving tons of cash too.

I have spent a few afternoons (during my afternoon tea break) rummaging through a few more long forgotten boxes and unused parts of the house and I am still finding things to sell at our antiques booth or via Craigslist.  I have got to say, I love the openness of the house now.  There is something to gratifying about being able to actually use the things that I love and have collected over the years.

And as for the big picture of seeing that number shrink by over $1,000?  That is completely worth any number of unbought ice creams or yards of fabric.

Getting Real Real

I find that sometimes, in the blogiphere, people forget that real life happens to real people.  Yes, a very large part of my life right now is growing vegetables, sewing children's clothes and cooking new (to me) foods, but there are other parts as well.  In an attempt to become "more" in my blog voice, more realistic, more honest, more open, I am going to start talking about a few things that are also very real to me every day.  The first is debt.  Come along won't you?


If you have ever spoken to me for longer than 4 minutes, you know that I have student loans from my time at University.  It was stupid- I didn't even need them, but I felt, at the time, like I would be guaranteed a job after I graduated and I could just pay them back.  Plus I'd have real live credit!  And a credit score!  At 20 years old I thought this was a win-win-win situation.

Now those student loans haunt my sleep.

It's not even "a lot" of money, $9,686.42 to be exact.  This amount is broken down into several smaller, individual loans that I have been paying more than the minimum on for the last 18 months.  Now it is time to get serious.

I cannot think about these loans any more.  I am determined to get myself, and my family out of debt while simultaneously trying to build my small business.  I took a huge pay cut (ahem, like 99%) when I chose to leave my job at the public library, but I am still able to pay on my debt each month.  Thankfully, I have a wonderful husband who provides for our family and is so wonderfully patient and understanding as we learn these lessons together, but the debt I pay comes directly from me each month.

So far I have been able to make enough cash each month by selling my dresses in my Etsy shop, taking on "remake" or alteration clients, selling items I find or no longer use at our booth at the Antiques Depot here in town and by doing the odd babysitting job or custom sewing.

Plus, any and all extra money I come into each month going directly to my debt as well.  In fact, I am about to pay off $1,200 of my debt in just a few minutes- the entire amount of my tax return, directly to my debt.

Why am I suddenly confessing all of this??  Maybe because I've been closely reading several money based blogs lately- CarefulCents.com, MoneyVsDebt.com, AndThenWeSaved.com are my current favorites- but also because I realize that several of my (our) life decisions are based upon the way we spend money and the way we want to spend money.

Marco and I are not going to be able to make it to Italy in June this year because we are choosing instead to finish a few projects on the house.  We have not been having date night dinners out because we are choosing to put more money into our savings.  I have not bought some things because I am choosing instead to dig myself out of debt.

It is all a matter of perspective and preference.  I prefer to make sacrifices now, so that I know later, we will have the freedom to "live a little."  There is nothing wrong with the way we live now- it is merely our current choice and we still drink plenty of wine and have wonderful adventures together.  But I say all of this to help shed some light on a few new topics that I will be bringing up over the next few months.  This will be my own Debt Pay Off Year and I thought I would share some of that journey here.  The decisions to buy/not buy/DIY are where many of our ideas for our home/garden/lifestyle come from, so I think the beginnings are equally as important as the endings.

I say all of this with the hope that you will come along and encourage.  Maybe you will find your own debt and be inspired to pay it off as well.  Here's to the next 9 months of debt down payment.

Why I Chose a Pit Bull

I know that there are mean dogs out there.  I've been bitten and scared by plenty.  I know that dogs attack and bite and kill.  I know it, I know it, I know it.  I'm not talking about those dogs- I'm talking about mine and if that bothers you then I suggest you turn away now because I am still full of rage from an encounter last night and I will not tolerate it in my space- which this is.    


On Thursday, I had my wiggle pants on and badly needed to go for a walk.  As usual, the dogs were also very wiggly and so this worked out perfectly.  Marco and I took them on a nice 3 mile walk that we like to do in the evenings, down the bike bath, through a great neighborhood, around the Square and back down the bike path.  It's our thing.  We get time to talk and bond and the dogs enjoy the sights and the scents and the occasional pet from strangers.  We were on our nice, family walk when suddenly it happened- someone said something ugly about my Cerulean and his breed.  This has only happened to my face once before but my reaction was still the same.  Complete and utter rage.

Rage so intense that I screamed out loud and tears poured down my face.  I started to hyperventilate right there in front of the frozen yogurt shop, in front of dozens of people.  I hated that woman- still hate that woman- and it clearly showed.  So let's talk about it shall we?

I've shown off my pretty, pretty dogs a few times- like here and here.  But I have never really explained how and why I chose my Cerulean.  Here is his story.


Cheezburger was a puppy when I got her and by the time she hit two years old, I had broken off an engagement  moved out on my own, was working two full time jobs and swerving really hard into hot mess territory.  My stress was high and it was starting to show.  I had been thinking of getting her a brother, a playmate for when I worked and a companion to help deal with her "only child" syndrome that was so obvious.  I had casually browsed the adoptable pets online, but no one really stuck out.

Then I got a phone call from a library volunteer.  There was a dog at the shelter who was "next on the list."  Could I please come check him out, foster him, and we would try to find him a forever home.  What the heck I figured.  I was looking for a playmate, this would be a great way to introduce the Burg to the idea.

I drove to the shelter, and was directed to the "big dog" room.  I was looking for the dog with the black collar- there was only one.  There were 30 big dogs in the room, jumping and barking and tails a wagging.  I petted a few through the cages but saw no black collars.  It was so loud in there and I walked up and down the aisle a few times before I saw him.  He was huddled in the back corner of his kennel- alone- head and tail invisible, but I could just see his black collar.  I walked over to his kennel and spoke to him.  The saddest face looked up at me but he wouldn't come to the fence.  I opened the door and sat quietly at the entrance.  He stood up.  I could tell his was skinny and sick- probably not fed well in his passed life, probably full of worms or worse.  He came over to me and I let him smell my hand and he let me pet the top of his head.  Then he crawled into my lap and curled up in a little ball, shivering.

If I am being completely honest, I was a goner right then and there.  But now that he was asleep in my lap, I had a better chance to get a look at him.  That's when I realized he was a pitbull- and filthy.  I still wasn't sure if I was ready to take on two dogs, but I thought I'd help him find a forever home, at least for a little while.

Long story short- it took about a year of looking for a forever home to realize he already had one.  He is gentle and patient where Cheezburger is insane.  He is very snuggly and just wants to be petted and allowed on the bed.  His fur is short but soft and he is so delicate when he walks that often his toe nails are ridiculously long and we never notice.  He is afraid of the rain but not thunder.

His favorite toy is the pink rubber ducky, but he doesn't chew it, just likes to keep it around.  He will play with Cheezburger when she asks nicely and only once told her to back off- when he was sick and full of worms and had just had his business removed and she would not leave him alone.  He told her to stop it and she did.  He is incredibly protective of Cheezburger and me but never barks.

Since he came into my life I have taken a real interest in so many things- helping at the Humane society, supporting our local dog park, being involved with making sure breed specific laws are not passed here or in surrounding counties.  I've been asked to bring him to several meetings, groups and social events as an advocate for older dog adoption, pit bull awareness and snuggle times.  I have met so many people- friends- through him.  He can charm the pants off anyone he meets and I can't tell you how many people think of him as their "favorite."  

I've gone on and on, I know it, and I am almost finished.  I love my sweet Pooto, not because I believe that by loving him I am proving a point, but because he is sweet and loving and snuggly.  I love him because he never complains, even when he is full of 4 types of worms and bleeding from a massive skin infection.  I love him because when I don't feel good he will snuggle until I do.  I love him in a sweater.  I love him because he is gentle with children and fast to give kisses.  

And one day, I hope that when we are walking around the Square, he will not be judged by his skin, but by the content of his character. Because that character is exactly why I choose to adopt a pit bull.

Save the Date

I am proud to announce that the classes I am teaching with the Arts Council have been set!  You can check out my dates and details across the top of the page under the Oxford Handmade tab. 

I am so very, very excited to get this party started and cannot wait to share these experiences.  I hope to see everyone there. Remember that classes are cheaper for Arts Council members and membership fees start at just $25 a year.

After October 31st I will also be available for individual sewing lessons.  New to sewing?  Have a specific project you'd like to work on?  Need help figuring out your machine?  I'd love to help.  You can email me at Stacey@madedem.com for more information.

I'll admit I'm terrified.  I'm terrified and excited and when I start directly thinking about this life change I start to feel a little bit woozy and the room spins... but I know that at the very, very bottom of the fear is the feeling that I am doing something which makes my soul sing.  I am listening to that voice who has been so angry and upset.

Twenty years from now you will regret the things you did not do, much more than the things you did. You know what I think?  That thing you've always wanted to do?  You should go do it too.

Thank you for coming along with me.

Saving Energy

I took these photos on my phone so I could upload them very quickly before work.  I am so proud of my solution I just had to share first thing this morning.  But sorry they are so bleached out- my model was feeling very needy this morning and refused to move to a better lit side of the room.

I refuse to turn on the heat.  I am not ready.  The house is not ready.  We have so much weatherizing to do and an energy audit to have.  So it's cold inside.  Actually, it's not that could.  It's chilly.  I wear socks, and for most of the day we aren't even home.  But the dogs are home and Cerulean is very sensitive.  I worry about my sweet, sensitive man getting cold because he does not have furry hairs like his sister.  So just now I was walking around the house getting ready to leave and I noticed his tiny body shivering, curled up on his dog bed.  Look at that face...

So I did what any mother would do.  I looked for a solution.  And I found one- a cashmere solution because that's how we roll in this house.  

I wish I could have stopped laughing long enough to take a video of his walking in his sweater before I rolled up the sleeves... but there is always tonight.  Anyway, he seems to tolerate it.  And if it keeps his warm while I leave the heat off for a few more days (my goal is no heat til November 1st), then it's a win/win.  Plus, look at that face in a sweater.  Yay autumn!

I'm Coming Up

Well.  It's October and that means my final countdown has begun.  Plus it's time to make a few big announcements.  No Mom, I'm not pregnant.

First, I will be leaving the public library at the end of the month.  I both incredibly sad and wonderfully excited.  I have made a wonderful home at the Lafayette County and Oxford Public Library.  They have taken care of me through college, my dad's surgery, a tremendous break up, a house buying, a wedding and now the begging of my next big adventure.

What am I going to do instead?  Well craft of course!  I am hooking up with the Yoknapatawpha Arts Council and our local Moms and Tots groups in order to start teaching at least two sewing/making/creating classes a month.  I could not be more excited to hoard supplies, build lesson plans, create templates and directions, and get out there with the community I love so much.  I am very excited to continue to build on the relationships that the library has provided me, but in new and exciting ways.  I do not have final dates for my classes yet, but I do have a monthly list of what they will be at the top of my blog.  If you are interested in joining us for a class, but the date is not set yet, please email me and I will add you to my list serve.  That way I can notify you when dates are released.  Also- and this is not a plug, but actual advice- I would highly suggest anyone who in interested in joining my YAC classes at the Powerhouse to join the Arts Council.  You will save $5-$10 off each class.  So you're $25 donation will pay for itself after only three classes, plus you get on the Arts Council mailing list, and you save on ALL of the other stuff the Arts Council does too.  It's worth it for the "savings" and for the cause- 100% of your donation goes to help provide more art in Oxford.

To sign up to be a member with the Yoknapatawpha Arts Council click here.

And finally, I am beginning on another big adventure.  I am starting my own business.  We're still hashing out details, like the name, but it will ultimately be a subscription service for a handmade project every two months.  It works like this- every two months, starting in January, you will receive in the mail a box of stuff.  Basically, all the supplies, directions, templates, and suggestions to create something by hand.  There is everything from basic book binding to wax seals to mini woven patches and more.  The projects are gender neutral- but you can obviously girly-fy anything with a little glitter.

People will be able to purchase the subscriptions per year (6 boxes plus two wild card boxes that will be surprises and full of extra stuff) or by month.   Individual boxes can be purchased from the Powerhouse or by contacting me online.  Boxes can be mailed to anywhere in the continental United States and would make great gifts for the upcoming season- PLUS we have just decided to do Boxes of Boxes as well.  Know a group who would enjoy the boxes?  We can put together a Big Box full of small boxes at a discounted rate.  This would be great for church groups, mom's groups, casual groups- whatever.

The best part about this entire adventure is that I will be the boss of it.  So if you have an idea or suggestion or request (more glitter! more upcycled!) I can make that happen!  I am so excited to get started that I have actually created an extra, bonus box to go out on November 1st.  I will be using this box (it will actually be an envelope, go figure) to help promote this new venture and there will be a limited number created.  However, if you want to be a guinea pig and try out this new product for FREE, I am giving away 5 November boxes in the upcoming weeks.  You'll have to keep checking in to see how you can enter for a chance to win yours.

So you see, I am going to be busy and growing and fulfilling that voice that keeps screaming my name.  I am not waiting for my ship to come in, I'm going out to meet it.  Smooth seas never made a seasoned sailor.  Carpe Diem!  And all of that stuff.  I'm scared out of my mind and I am sure that very, very soon I will miss a steady paycheck, but you know, if you wait until the perfect time to do something, you'll never do anything.

I want to thank all of you for coming along on this journey with me and for supporting me this entire time.  When I do finally start working from home full time I have big plans for this blog and will honestly be updating more regularly.  But I hope to see you at my classes, or on my list serve.  And I hope you stop by the Powerhouse and check out my Art Boxes (or Monthly Make boxes, or Made by Mail boxes or whatever we decide to call them).

It's going to be a wild ride, here's to a good time!

No I am not a tree

(Source: Here)

I find myself thinking this over and over and over all day.  I am not a tree.  I am not a tree.  I have a voice. I am not a tree.  I have options.  I am not a tree.  I have goals and abilities and friends and partners and choices.  I am not a tree.

So I am making those changes that my voice keeps whispering.  I am taking control of my body.  I am not waiting for my ship to come in- I am rowing out and meeting it.  I'd love for you to come along.  I'll be sharing the journey and posting the pictures.  If you want to join me for cheaper- and desire a little tease before the big reveal- you can become a member of the Yoknapatawpha Arts Council here.

I am choosing my family, my community and my passions.  I am choosing to let go of things that I cannot control.  I am choosing to live intentionally, peacefully, completely.  I have more choices to make and mistakes to overcome- but I am grateful to have those options.  I am not a tree.

Get Control of Yourself

As I prepare myself for the responsibility of actively teaching others, I am going to try to share some things that have been taught to me more recently.  

A few weeks ago Marco and I were invited to an adult birthday party.  It has party hats and balloons, but there were dirty words on those hats and balloons, so that made it adult.  Also there was beer- and adults.

The birthday boy is actually the husband/father of some ladies who are very, very special to me.  So special in fact, that right now I'm thinking about not seeing them three times a week when I do eventually leave the library and I'm getting a little weepy.  So special that this is one of my favorite pictures from my wedding:

I love that picture and I love that bunny in that picture.  She is cheesing it up in that picture but I still love her and that smile and how she ended up eating most of my nachos that you see to the side there...

Anyhoo- at this birthday party, that little bunny was running around like, well, a bunny.  A bunny on crack.  And you know what her mother said to her?  Her mother told her to sit down, cross her legs, put her hands on her knees and take control of her body.  And she did.

My bunny's momma didn't know it then (though she will now- hey girl!) but that moment taught me more than I could learn from any Mommy Blog or book or therapy session.  She treated that bunny like a person- not a child to be coddled, or an inferior who needed things explained to her... but as a person who was capable of controlling herself through awareness.  And the awareness thing- whoa.  In that moment I realized that I could probably use some more awareness myself.  Awareness of my own body and my own thoughts and those whispers in my soul that have been so long ignored.  

So when I find the panic climbing up my throat or the backs of my knees start to feel weak- I sit down, cross my legs, put my hands on my knees and get control of my body.  I ask my body what it's looking for- what is it afraid of?  I ask the whispers to speak a little louder, I'm still practicing.  I pace my breathing, it doesn't pace me.  And then I thank the universe for the people who unknowingly have given me so much.

Trying Something New

In the last 18 months, Marco and I bought a house, got married and decided it's time for me to make a career change.  What's that?  The career change?  I hadn't mentioned it?

That's probably because I'm still not sure what it is, but I know what it feels like.  It feels different than right now.  Right now I'm not in a good place.  I'm actually in a dark place.  A dark place that used to feel very familiar and friendly has not become stagnant and painful.  So it's time to move on.  I cannot say exactly what I'm moving on to yet, but I can say that I'm starting to figure it out.  

The first thing I've figured out is that I need to start putting into practice more of the things I enjoy, like sewing and socializing.  So I'm heading up a few classes over the next few months and will be keeping up with them via this blog.  I've also decided that if enough people suggest something, maybe you should give it a try, so I am working on a little Closet Reconstruction project too.  Maybe something will stick, or maybe I'll just continue to learn about myself.  Either way, it's going to be great- I can already tell.

The Decision to Get Married

After buying our house a year ago Marco and I started having serious discussions about the type of life we want to have in this house and any other future houses.  You know, things like, do we want kids or do we want a kitten (yes and yes)?  Should we join a church and how big do we want our garden (no and big)?  All kinds of things.  Until suddenly we realized we hadn't really talked about the big question- when are we getting married.

We both wanted to get married, we had mentioned it a few times and at once point Marco had looked at me and said "Of course I want to marry you!  We bought a house together!" So the question really wasn't if but when.  So like all big decisions (like buying a car or having children) this has become the most recent of our nightly discussions before and after we watch movies or while we lay in bed in the dark.

Until last Monday when the discussion turned to action and we decided that since we are already throwing a "One year in our house anniversary party" next Friday the 25th, why don't we just go down to the courthouse and get married that day too.  It's Memorial Day weekend and all.

So we are and so we shall.  I called my parents, he skyped his mom and I sent out a mass text invite to several close friends who are already coming to our party.  I told my boss (who quickly ordered us a cake and me a bouquet since I said that I hadn't planned on having either) and now we wait.  Our blood tests and application are in so now we just have to show up.

Or spend the day working on the garden, continuing to work on our lives together.