Alone-ness and Guilty Pleasures

Marco left for another research cruise yesterday and while I miss him and I count down the minutes until he returns, I do (eventually) enjoy my alone time in the house.  Several years ago an "alone" week like this would have sent me spiraling into a black hole of panic and despair.  And it has been no easy journey learning how to enjoy my aloneness- but I am getting there.  Since people are always asking me how I deal with being in the house by myself (with only two crazy beasts for background noise) I thought I'd share a little bit of my technique (because that's what it is) here.

I always start by planning out my meals.  If it's just me in the house I'm much more liable to settle for nachos every night or a pot of tea and some cookies.  So the first thing I do when I know a period of "oneness" is coming up, is to make sure there is food that I can/will/like to eat in the house.  I like to do either very simple things (grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato) or really complex things (lasagna).  The simple things are easy to do quickly and clean up, the bigger things I can make once and then eat it for three days.  Once I get a food plan, I start to feel a little better because I get to eat things that Marco may not always enjoy for three days in a row... For me, grilled cheese sandwiches and nachos are supreme guilty pleasures but I try to make sure I get real ingredients into both of them so that I'm not too guilty.

I also make sure that I dress to kill the entire time.  It is so easy to not shave for an entire week or just let laundry pile up... but just like when I make myself plan out my meals, planning out my clothes helps too.  I plan to wear clothes that make me feel good and confident (thanks to that recent closet purge, that's all of them) and clothes that require some bodily upkeep too- like shaving and toe nail painting.  It's like being at a spa!  But cheaper because it's at my house.  And when it's just me, and I know what's for dinner and I know that no one else is wanting to use the bathroom- I can take that extra long shower, use my facial hair bleach and push back my cuticles without revealing too many secrets.

But most importantly for me, I have learned to develop projects.  Sometimes these are secret projects- like painting the bathroom or decorating our porch, but sometimes these are general projects like deep cleaning the floors or purging the craft room.  I pick up books that I want to read- and I read them without feeling like I'm ignoring anyone.  I take the dogs on walks and think about how grateful I am that Marco usually takes the first walk of the day.  I don't schedule every second of my time, but I like knowing that I have things to do.  It keeps me from feeling bored which usually ends up in impulse buying or anxiety.  And when Marco comes home he can oohh and ahh over whatever I've been able to accomplish.  Now that's a good thing.

Anyone else have long stretches of one-ness?  Anyone wish they HAD some one-ness?

How We Planned a Mini-No-Pressure Wedding Night Dinner in Less Than a Week

In order to keep our wedding simple, no pressure and laid back has actually taken very, very little effort thanks to several people who love us very, very much and we could not be more grateful.  However, it is taking a little bit of leg work from yours truly so I thought I'd update on how that is going with some day by day mini wedding action and a budget breakdown.

Keep in mind that we are still planning our big reception to take place next year when all of Italy can attend as well as more friends and family.  This is intentionally going to be a very small affair that was originally supposed to be simply a "One Year in House" party.  It was also supposed to be kind of a secret, so naturally, everyone knows.

Anyhoo- here's how it went down after last week's legal prep- blood tests and applying for our license (total cost $69.00).

Saturday and Sunday:  As previously mentioned we napped, played our friend's house and enjoyed calling immediate family/friends to spread the good news (total cost: free).

Monday:  We called all the people who we already invited to our house party and told them we were getting married that day too.  So.  Be ready for that.  Picked up my borrowed cake stand from my boss and she threw in a silver ice bucket too.  Called my personal fashion assistant and told her to pack up her fancy Grove dresses and bring them with her when she comes Thursday night.  Then later that night I spent 30 minutes making some fabric and paper tassels for some easy and laid back decorations.  (total cost:  free).

Tuesday:  Let me stop right here and explain that I haven't been in Walmart in over a year and I was incredibly disappointed by their lack of eco options for entertaining.  We're expecting to feed 50 people so glass plates weren't really an option- plus glass plates for burgers seemed a little much.  So I spent 35 minutes carefully checking each disposable plate package and picked up some compostable paper plates and 7.5 yards of cotton muslin. The plates will be, well, composted and the muslin is going to be torn into 15" napkins here in a few hours when work slows down.  I have plans in my head to dye the napkins different colors later and maybe use them to make a quilt or something.  But we'll see how I feel about it later (cost: about $35).  I also stopped at Goodwill and lucked out by picking up two pairs of gold shoes (one heels and one flats), two white flat sheets we're going to call table clothes, a dress shirt option for Marco though he may not wear it and other not wedding related stuff because I can't help myself.  (cost for wedding stuffs:  roughly $25). 

So here we are.  Three days away and our total cost to date is: $129.00.  We still have to buy the food and drink but thanks to a local liquor store going out of business we actually already picked up some extra booze at a pretty good discount a couple of weekends ago. In list form:  here's another break down.

Dress:  Free (borrowed from a friend)
Shoes: $10 (two pairs to chose from included)
Makeup:  Free/already owned
Flowers:  Free from my boss's yard hopefully
Marco's Maybe Shirt: $5
Decorations:  Free/crafted from previously owned supplies or found around the house
Table Decorations:  $10 for 2 new bedsheets/free for previously owned fabric/table clothes
Plates/Napkins/Utensils: $35 (utensils borrowed from the library's stash)
Serving Platters: Free/already owned
Cake and Cake Stand: Gift and borrowed
My ring:  $50 resizing fee, but the ring was free- it was my Mommy's
Legal stuffs: $69 (2 blood tests and one licence application)

Total (including ring sizing): $179.00

Still to buy:  Food and drink and maybe a new tube of lipstick.  Not bad.  Not bad at all.

Also, if you see something glaringly missing, keep it to yourself.  :)  Thanks.

The Decision to Get Married

After buying our house a year ago Marco and I started having serious discussions about the type of life we want to have in this house and any other future houses.  You know, things like, do we want kids or do we want a kitten (yes and yes)?  Should we join a church and how big do we want our garden (no and big)?  All kinds of things.  Until suddenly we realized we hadn't really talked about the big question- when are we getting married.

We both wanted to get married, we had mentioned it a few times and at once point Marco had looked at me and said "Of course I want to marry you!  We bought a house together!" So the question really wasn't if but when.  So like all big decisions (like buying a car or having children) this has become the most recent of our nightly discussions before and after we watch movies or while we lay in bed in the dark.

Until last Monday when the discussion turned to action and we decided that since we are already throwing a "One year in our house anniversary party" next Friday the 25th, why don't we just go down to the courthouse and get married that day too.  It's Memorial Day weekend and all.

So we are and so we shall.  I called my parents, he skyped his mom and I sent out a mass text invite to several close friends who are already coming to our party.  I told my boss (who quickly ordered us a cake and me a bouquet since I said that I hadn't planned on having either) and now we wait.  Our blood tests and application are in so now we just have to show up.

Or spend the day working on the garden, continuing to work on our lives together.